okay so0o0o i decided to write another one of these...
um since that last post I have totally forgotten about Michael
well kinda lol we're just friends and i kinda like it that way it's super cool just being able to do stuff in lunch and say things and not worry about how hes gonna judge me or whatever.
i had my first boyfriend. well have. its complicated.
name is Nolan <3
I met him through a friend, Jelly <333
shes been telling me about him for months now, since around december but i couldnt do anything because he had a boyfriend, so I added him on myspace and he msgd me on my birthday saying happy birthday and things just went from there.
he is incredibly sweet and waay funny haha
hes been hurt and I thought that maybe I could change things
On April 3rd lisandra and I were skipping school and we got like all up elmwood on hertle.
i was texting him and he asked if we wanted a ride soo he picked us up and we hung out for a few hours.
At first I was thinking like...oh my god hes definitely not for me... but then I to hang out with him again the next day. =]
He picked me up from school and we went to the marina...it was freezing!!
after we picked up jelly n went out shopping, well she was looking for a sweater or sumtin.
then we went to the cemetery and just chilled haha it was fun...
afterwards we went back to the marina and I met Aidan and 2 other ppl but i fergot who they were lol...they dint stay long.
Nolan and I cuddled on a rock by the water under a blanket...it was soo romantic.
i felt like...damn i could get used to this! haha
we like hunged out with carlos n aidan and jelly and went to aidans house to watch Cursed... it was so cute we were holding hands and he fell asleep on my shoulder...
<33
that day was just PERFECT like out of a movie.
afterwards he took me home and we kissed...
OH MY GOD I LOVED IT
LMAO
i could not stop smiling.
the next day we were texting and i basically asked if he wanted to make it official haha so0o0o on April 5th we started dating =]]] <333
Since that day I met soooo many people.
Carlos, Aidan, Jodee, Esa, Nena, Melissa, Carla, Jazzy, his mom & dad, sister Natalie, sister Brittani & brother in law... theyre ALL SO COOL lol
they all liked me...it was sweet
we were hanging out last week tuesday with jodee n carlos n he was wondering if i thought was he was thinking...and it hit me, he was thinking about the word "love"
i told him yea...so later that night we stared at each other and i kissed him and said it..he said it back. and then he asked "did it feel right to u because it did to me"
haha hes so cute
but after that night things changed... i felt like we hardly spoke anymore.
On friday I left school, i risked my prom..risked getting suspended, and walked out and ran in the pouring rain to the library to see him, and he didnt even seem happy to see me.
then on sunday i started working and he surprised me with all my friends =]
I felt so happy...until i realized he was ignoring me.
i had to constantly ask him for a kiss...and his friend jodee noticed it.
we later went to sidway...these condo things and he rlly didnt say anything to me...so bla bla bla i went looking for him and when i did i pulled him aside and asked him, "what's going on".
he then said he needed time to get over his ex... he said he thinks we rushed into things.
he broke up with me.
the day before our one month.
he said it wasnt rlly over for us, just a break.
its been about 3 days now, and its so hard, some days more than others.
i dont know whats going though his mind.
he said we're still gonna talk, txt, hang out... but i cant call him my boyfriend.
okay... but we dont talk. he doesnt try to talk to me. he hasnt asked me to hang out with him either...
its like what the fuck.
im getting angry now... im fucking waiting for him
i cant blame him, he needs time, i understand
but i just wish i knew where he stood...
fuck fuck fuck fuck
im going now.